CANDID TALK :The village matador lucky to be alive

The Uswaz MP Hon Dr Tajiri Tumbo Kubwa (his doctorate is questionable) is a very clever man especially as we approach general elections. His ingenuity is evident in Uswaz in the way he organizes the young and the old in some sorts of groupings – football teams, women groups and similar units that ensures as many people as possible are, like cows, are herded together to deliver votes when the time comes.

The Standard Digital News
Lucky to Be Alive: Prezzo Allegedly Crashes His Expensive Chrysler Crossfire ...
Ghafla!Kenya
Prezzo is one of the hottest Kenyan artists out right now what with the controversies surrounding his love life with his former Tanzanian lover taking shots at the throne but what most of you did not know is that the rapper was allegedly in an accident just the ...
Prezzo's dramatic relationship takes a twistThe Standard Digital News

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Nothing is more horrifying than a Mirembe madhouse candidate who can write a column like the one you are now reading. I can assure you that I feel madder than yesterday as the General Election approaches.

In all my miserable life, diligent obedience to my throat to get it sloshed with real beer has many a time caused me serious grief. Deep love for all types of drinkables can perhaps explain why I have physical and emotional scars. As a result, I do most stupid things such as taking shortcuts through graveyards to avoid meeting people I owe money, even in devil hours of the night. I am willing to risk my throat being gripped by cold hands of a zombie straight from hell than bump onto my...

>My one-and-only Bisho Ntongo and I are having a ‘good’  time in Katerero on the shores of Lake Victoria. Her father had demanded that I show my ugly face lest he calls back Bisho over unpaid dowry balance. Everything is so changed here that I am considering relocating here for good. Pull out a few msimbazis (Sh10,000 banknotes) and the entire village will worship you.

The guy who came up with the Valentine’s Day idea should die. It is the day when men and women clad in red and brandishing red roses make asses out of themselves. If he were living today, I would recommend that he be hanged at a public place for it. I would do this because even a “professional” wife beater like Hussein the Uswaz wag or Voicemail Kemilembe, the woman known to have an eye for anything in a trouser, pretend to be to be lovers for life – a one day show....

Sometimes, I think that most Uswaz men ought to earn esteemed tittle minister for “Wetlands and Irrigation”. This is because of our penchant for playing God by raining on anything within our sight. If the “Passport Size Latrines” happen to be far away, and our bladders threaten to do balloon-bursts, we don’t shy from wetting anything in our sight; walls, trees, protected parks and so forth.

Telegraph.co.uk
Tanzanian village burns alive seven suspected witches
Telegraph.co.uk
Seven people accused of witchcraft have been burned alive in Tanzania. Twenty-three people have been arrested in connection with the crimes, police said on Friday. “They were attacked and burnt to death by a mob of villagers who accused them of ...
Tanzania arrests 23 over killing of seven 'witches'BBC News
Seven witchcraft suspects burned to death in TanzaniaPakistan Today
Seven People Accused of Witchcraft...

Candid, objective; say many on Kikwete speech
Daily News
ACADEMICIANS and other members of the public yesterday hailed the weekend speech by CCM National Chairman, President Jakaya Kikwete, describing it as ''candid and reflective of the reality on the ground as far as the current political context is ...