CANDID TALK : Day my bladders cost me a cool Sh10,000

Sometimes, I think that most Uswaz men ought to earn esteemed tittle minister for “Wetlands and Irrigation”. This is because of our penchant for playing God by raining on anything within our sight. If the “Passport Size Latrines” happen to be far away, and our bladders threaten to do balloon-bursts, we don’t shy from wetting anything in our sight; walls, trees, protected parks and so forth.

TheCitizen

Habari Zinazoendana

10 years ago

TheCitizen

15 Feb

CANDID TALK:Valentine Day’s memories reloaded and Jenny…

The guy who came up with the Valentine’s Day idea should die. It is the day when men and women clad in red and brandishing red roses make asses out of themselves. If he were living today, I would recommend that he be hanged at a public place for it. I would do this because even a “professional” wife beater like Hussein the Uswaz wag or Voicemail Kemilembe, the woman known to have an eye for anything in a trouser, pretend to be to be lovers for life – a one day show....

 

9 years ago

TheCitizen

16 Aug

CANDID TALK :Promise that never was

The Uswaz MP Hon Dr Tajiri Tumbo Kubwa (his doctorate is questionable) is a very clever man especially as we approach general elections. His ingenuity is evident in Uswaz in the way he organizes the young and the old in some sorts of groupings – football teams, women groups and similar units that ensures as many people as possible are, like cows, are herded together to deliver votes when the time comes.

 

9 years ago

TheCitizen

11 Oct

CANDID TALK :The village matador lucky to be alive

Wonders never cease! The 11th wonder of the world is this game practiced in Spain, Portugal and Mexico,whereby a very, very angry bull drunk on devil-knows-what bulls raring to kill someone are unleashed in narrow streets to charge at eager people.

 

9 years ago

TheCitizen

18 Oct

CANDID TALK : We’re definitely sacking MP Tajiri Tumbo Kubwa

Nothing is more horrifying than a Mirembe madhouse candidate who can write a column like the one you are now reading. I can assure you that I feel madder than yesterday as the General Election approaches.

 

10 years ago

TheCitizen

12 Apr

CANDID TALK: ‘Obeying’ my throat almost got me killed by ‘ghosts’

In all my miserable life, diligent obedience to my throat to get it sloshed with real beer has many a time caused me serious grief. Deep love for all types of drinkables can perhaps explain why I have physical and emotional scars. As a result, I do most stupid things such as taking shortcuts through graveyards to avoid meeting people I owe money, even in devil hours of the night. I am willing to risk my throat being gripped by cold hands of a zombie straight from hell than bump onto my...

 

10 years ago

TheCitizen

07 Sep

CANDID TALK: We’re having a blissful time in Katerero, feeling ‘good’

>My one-and-only Bisho Ntongo and I are having a ‘good’  time in Katerero on the shores of Lake Victoria. Her father had demanded that I show my ugly face lest he calls back Bisho over unpaid dowry balance. Everything is so changed here that I am considering relocating here for good. Pull out a few msimbazis (Sh10,000 banknotes) and the entire village will worship you.

 

10 years ago

Mwananchi

22 Jan

Faini ya Sh10,000 ya ngono ni dhihaka

Ni usiku na giza limetanda. Nakatiza mitaa ya Buguruni Madenge na Malapa jijini Dar es Salaam, nashuhudia wanawake wamejilaza kwenye vibaraza, mbele ya nyumba zao wakitumia mwanga wa vibatari.

 

10 years ago

TheCitizen

11 Sep

Economist calls for note higher than Sh10,000

It is time the Bank of Tanzania issues currencies of higher denominations than Sh10,000 for security reasons and to make transactions easier, an economist has suggested.

 

11 years ago

Mwananchi

04 Jan

Mchina kizimbani kwa kuchana noti ya Sh10,000

>Raia wa China ambaye ni meneja uzalishaji katika kampuni ya ujenzi  Shen Hai,46, amepandishwa kizimbani kwa kosa la kuchana noti ya shilingi 10,000 ambayo ni mali ya Serikali ya Tanzania.

 

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